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Posts Tagged ‘Open’

Help Getting Girl To Relax And Open Up?

So…There is a girl that I have met that is much younger than I am. I am 28 & she is 18. This is obviously a large age gap. I am a regular at a store that she works at. I work as a web designer & do some freelance (remotely) so I like to work from there rather that sitting at home all of the time. I have been going there for about a year. This girl that I’m talking to has been working there for about 2 months. She caught my eye before I knew how young she was & I was thinking that she was in her early 20’s or so. Eventually I realize that she wasn’t but decided that I’m still interested. Now 2 months have gone by with way too much confusion & I figured I would ask you guys.
I am a really intuitive person in general & I have a pretty good understanding of body language. I was really shy when I was 18 so I have a tendency to empathize when someone else feels uncomfortable & nervous with the opposite sex because I know what it feels like. Unfortunately this empathy that I have for people like me often gets in the way of my own happiness.
So her body language is saying that she is interested, & it is also saying that she is extremely intimidated by me. All of the signs are there. I catch her looking my way often. She smiles at me from a distance. If there is a sign that says a girl is interested, this girl does it. The problem is, I feel really uncomfortable about forcing anything to happen with her. I am generally not the type of person who is really direct (probably due to my anxieties earlier in life) & I have a tendency to approach these situations more naturally than just bluntly asking them out. By this I mean, I like to have a little bit of small talk before I ask her out so that it doesn’t feel so “robotic”, if you will. The problem is, every time we have any small talk, she seems like she is happy about it, but then cuts it short before I get the chance to ask her out, Then the next time I talk to her, she becomes extremely cold & avoids conversation with me as if she is no longer interested. If I then act like I am less interested, she begins to act interested again & picks up where she left off before we had a little bit of small talk. This has become a continuous pattern.
To me, I read this as, she is very interested & intimidated by me (probably because of the age gap). I think that she wants me to like her & doesn’t want that to change, but is too afraid to get to the point where I would ask her out because of nervousness. So anytime we get to a point where I am about to ask her out she cuts the conversation short (definitely on purpose. I know that for sure), & then avoids conversation until she thinks she has lost me. Then she begins to feel as though I have lost interest, which she obviously doesn’t want, & begins to show body language that suggests interest again. Then the typical patter repeats.
Now I’m sure that most people would just say, if I am that sure there is interest, & since I’m 28 & I need to take the lead, then it is time to just do it already & ask her out. The problem is it is so uncomfortable for (after all, I’m still a bit shy as well) me to just do it when she keeps avoiding me. I feel like I literally have to grab her & force her to talk to me. I definitely don’t want to do this.
So I’m looking for advice to help her feel more comfortable so that I can have a little bit of small talk where she doesn’t freak out & close me out.
Also, before I get a bunch of answers that say that she is probably not interested, I should say that I KNOW she is interested because I am really good at reading this stuff. And yes, I obviously like her enough to keep trying before just moving on. So avoid answers like these please. :)
and If you’ve gotten this far in my questions, THANK YOU!!! lol
Thanks for your help! :)

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If I Open A Web Design Website Then Would I Be Likely To Get Customers?

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